Monday, August 31, 2015

JumpOline! Altitude Park S.A Giveaway.

Awesome time sponsored by Altitude. Awesome time had by me.

I got giveaways Ya'll!
Recently the family and I were invited to Altitude Trampoline ParkSan Antonio. We had a Rad time. Including the teen! 

Talulah and I have 4 free passes to Altitude Trampoline Park to get your (in the words of Talulah) JumpOline on. 

The deets:                                                         
  • Take your best jumping pic.
  • Post on Instagram with #JumpOline
  • tag @thirty_on
             I will re-post pics

Talulah will pick her favorite pic. 
Yes I'm leaving the decisions to my 5 y/o. 

  • Last day of entry 9/6/15
  • I will post winner Monday 9/7/15


Can't wait to see your #jumpOline pics. 
Good Luck!

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Talking About The "D" Word

Almost a year ago I wrote this Today I Am Sad.
Last summer and quiet honestly the past 10 months have been a quiet internal roller coaster. My emotions have been one board of Pinterest quotes.
Last August, once again I had to make a very hard decision on to let or to not let my daughter go live with her parent states away. It was a very heavy on my heart for several reasons among the most obvious. That will be another blog post I'm still sorting them out with my therapist (insert happy face emoji here).
At the time I knew that the reason for my daughter leaving was not just teen rebellion and at times I had to fight against my own ego.
Deep down inside I knew more serious things were brewing. I knew because the things we were dealing with we had been doing so for the past year. I knew because genetically these are the things that my family are prone to suffer from. Among other things like diabetes, heart diseases, alcoholism, drug addiction, bad eye sight, and from time to time bad fashion. Only few are talked about on a regular basis and it not the three that we should talk about.
Also, I knew things were serious because years ago I had to take care of my mother the same way I had to take care of my daughter.  Depression is much more debilitating then most people know about. Their was a time that for days my mother would stay in a dark room talking to nothing. Not wanting to eat. Not wanting to shower. Not recognizing me as her daughter. Fast forward to my own child I had to carry my own physically healthy daughter to and from the shower and dress her as if she were paralyzed from the neck down.
I felt that I did everything I could and nothing seemed to help. By the time last summer came nature, genetics, and co-parenting were against me and my back was against a wall. I had to make the decision. Not a day had gone by that hated myself for letting her go. I read blog post after blog post about divorced parents and children moving from one parent to the other. But our situation was different and to the people that were suppose to listen I felt like I was screaming on deaf ears.
...And then it happened. Suicide attempt one. I got a phone call saying that my daughter was in the hospital. In the past 12 months I had 4 phone calls like that. With every phone call my heart stopped.
Life kinda stops. You live but time doesn't run the way its supposed to. As the parent you divide yourself in to categories. Your brain is eating it's self and coffee no longer does anything. You eventually set yourself on crisis management and robot mode because after all appointments aren't going to make themselves and bills need to be paid. All the emotional stuff will have to wait. It's not as if anyone one was knocking on our door bringing crock pots or chicken enchaladas. No one said I've gone through this and this is what we did that helped. No body really wants to talk about "it". Silence.
When my daughter was home our family suffered in silence. Like heart disease-depression is a silent killer. It seems we are right back where we started except this time I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

I'm back!

We made it home!  
Got to spend much needed time with my siblings, nieces&nephews, and grandparents. Even got some one on one with the cousins. It was good. Now back to the grind. Happy I went and happy to be home. I didn't post as much as I wanted or planned to. To be honest I was completely in the moment. Lots of good photo opportunity's that I didn't take but the memory is locked and loaded in my mind. Lots to say-lots of inspiration. It's good to be back. Missed you all out there in 
bloggy land.